Where Love Is
by ScreamItOutLoudd
Summary: Previously called Sequel to Fateful. Bill and Leanah have a child. But disaster strikes the Kaulitz family, leaving all three members hurt. Not physically What happens when Leanah's dark secrect comes out? Read to find out more. And please review.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- I do not own Tokio Hotel.**

I finally reposted this story. Hopefull you like the rest of it. This is the sequel to my story Fateful. Here is a short summary to Fateful for those of you who havent read it:

Bill meets this girl Leanah. He helps save her( she hates life and the world) and makes her happy again. Leanh in turn helps get Tokio HOtel noticed by signing them up for a telent show. Bill marries Leanah and at the end of the story she is pregnant.

There you go. I hope that tells you enough to understand what is going on. Reviews would be much appreciated.

* * *

"BILL!" I come running to Leanah, where she is sitting on the couch. I glance at Tom as he jumps up from the armchair in the hotel. Leanah's face is red and is covered in a cold sweat. Good God.

"What's wrong?" I ask. Leanah is breathing with shallow, ragged breaths.

"I think my water just broke." My eyes go wide. I am frozen.

"What?" I ask stupidly.

"My water broke. I need to go to the hospital before I give birth in this hotel room dammit!" And everything unfreezes. Leanah is going to have my baby. Of course. It is February 10th. Leanah is due for next week. The baby is a week early.

"Okay. Lets call a car and we'll get you to the hospital. Tom call the car and help me walk Leanah down. And could you possibly call to cancel your date with Eva? Please. I want you by my side."

"Of course." Tom begins to help me pull Leanah up, already dialing the number.

"Wait. Tom, ask Eva if she could come. I told her she could be with me when I have the baby," Leanah says. He nods.

Slowly we make our way down to the lobby, where a car is waiting. I pull on Leanah's seatbelt and tell the driver to speed to the hospital.

We go to the emergency exit, where a nurse is waiting with a wheelchair. I called and told them that Leanah was in labor. I see Eva standing next to the nurse, with a huge smile on her face. We get out of the car.

"This is so exciting Leanah. You are going to be a mom. How does it feel?" Eva asks.

"It hurts like hell." The nurse wheels Leanah into the hospital. She is put in a room. I make to follow.

"Sorry. No one but the doctor and the nurse is allowed in here."

"What!?" It was not me, but Leanah who said this. "I want Bill in here. I want him with me. Let him in."

"I'm sorry honey, but he is not authorized to be in here until you have had the baby."

"I want my husband with me." She starts crying.

"Okay. But only you. The other two," the nurse says, pointing to Tom and Eva, " have to wait in the hall or somewhere." So I say goodbye to them and walk into the hospital room, where Leanah immediately grabs onto my hand and squeezes it.

"Ow. I want my fingers to stay on my hand Leanah." She answers by loosening her grip, but not by much. I sit down in a cold, plastic chair next to her bed and wipe the sweat of her forehead with a cold cloth. She shivers and squeezes my hand as more pain comes. So now begins the wait.

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I leave the room to find my brother. I see him sitting on a metal bench a few feet down the hall with Eva. They are reading magazines.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey." Eva stands up and Tom follows suit.

"How is she?" Eva asks. Leanah and Eva became friends this past fall, when Eva was touring in Europe with us. It was just like that one summer when I was eighteen only this time Leanah was with us. They became friends right away. Tom was actually jealous of Leanah. Figures.

"She is okay. The baby should be here soon. I hope."

"This is so exciting. I am so happy for you two. Who would have thought that Bill Kaulitz would be a father at 23. It is amazing. And Leanah is still only 21." I nod.

"I know. It is crazy. I'm excited, but terrified. What if the baby hates me?"

"The baby won't hate you Bill. You are too big a softie." I make a face at Tom. He laughs. Then he sits back down.

"I should get back to Leanah. I just wanted to see how things were out here. Hey. Did you tell Gustav and Georg that Leanah is in labor yet?"

"Nope."

"Well tell them. They would want to know." Tom nods and gives me a thumbs up.

"Sure thing. Now go. I'm sure Leanah is freaking out." No sooner were the words out of Tom's mouth that I hear a shriek from the room. I run to the room.

Leanah's face is pale. I run over and grab her hand. She squeezes it and I try not to say how she is squishing my fingers.

"Good Lord. Ow," she moans. The doctor smiles.

"The baby is coming. I see a head. It shouldn't be too much longer." I cringe when Leanah screams again. I hate seeing her like this. Lord let it stop. And just like that it is over. Leanah gives one final push before flopping back onto the pillows.

"You did it," I say. She smiles. I push her black hair out of her face and hold it in my hands.

"Thank you Bill," she says, before falling asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

2

I wake up and look around the hospital. Faces are staring at me from all around. Gustav and Georg smile when they see that I am awake. Eva and Tom are leaning against a wall, holding hands, whispering to each other. They don't notice me until I speak. The one face I want to see the most is missing.

"Where's Bill?" Tom looks up.

"Welcome back Sleeping Beauty. Took you long enough to wake up."

"How long was I asleep?"

"Two hours," he says grudgingly.

"That's not that long."

"It is when you are stuck in a hospital room with nothing to do because Bill won't let you touch your own niece. Who are both, by the way, walking up and down the hallway. Well Bill is anyway. He is holding the baby." I roll my eyes.

"No really," I say sarcastically. "A newborn baby is walking down the hall. That is amazing." Tom makes a face at me while the other three laugh.

"So I have a daughter?" Bill and I decided when I first got pregnant that we wanted the baby's gender to be a surprise.

"Yes. And her name is Natasha Simone, just like we decided. Named after both our mothers." Bill is standing in the doorway, holding a bundle in his arms. He looks down at it with a look of such pure happiness that I never want to forget it.

"Can I hold her?" I ask, sitting up straighter.

"Of course, silly. She's your daughter." He walks over to the side of my bed and places the bundle in my outstretched arms. I look down at her.

"She's beautiful," I say. Natasha is sleeping. Her tiny hands are curled into fists. She looks just like Bill. Although she has my hair. But because I dye my hair, hers is actually a deep chocolate brown. It will probably grow out to be stick straight. I look at her small features, memorizing each one in turn. The mole just above her left eyebrow, her tiny nose and mouth. I feel myself crying.

"Leanah, are you okay?" Bill asks.

"Mm-hmm. She's so pretty. She's perfect."

"She is. I can't believe it. We are parents." I smile. I grab Bill's hand and hold it tight. Tom steps forward.

"Can I hold her yet?"

"Of course Tom." I place Natasha in his arms and watch as he holds her gently.

"Ew. She looks like Bill. You are going to have one ugly child," he jokes. Eva slaps him lightly on the arm.

"She is not. The baby is beautiful. I am so happy for you two."

"Thanks Eva." She smiles and holds her arms out. Tom puts Natasha in her arms. Eva smiles at the baby.

"I think she's waking up."

"Give her to me," I demand. Eva walks over and I hold the baby, just as she opens her eyes. Then she smiles. I smile back.

"Look. She has green eyes. How did that happen? Neither of us has green eyes. Well they are pretty." I nod as I watch her. She is staring at me. Her green eyes disappear as she closes her eyes again and falls asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

3

"Bill. We need to talk." I place Natasha in her crib and cover her with a blanket. She almost instantly falls asleep. I smile at her and stroke her cheek. Then I walk over and sit cross-legged on the floor in front of Leanah.

"Okay. What do we need to talk about?" Leanah sighs and bites her lip. I can tell something is bothering her. I stand up and kneel next to her, holding her face in my hands.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"I can't go on that tour anymore." Okay. Not what I expected. I laugh.

"What?" she says angrily.

"I thought you were going to tell me that you were dying or something."

"No! Of course not."

"Good. So what is the problem?"

"Bill. We have a child now. I can't just leave her and go on tour. You guys will have to go without me." When we were nineteen the guys and I decided to let Leanah join the band and play the violin. So now she is a part of Tokio Hotel. She does interviews and photo shoots with us.

"We can't go without you. You are a member of the band. It isn't Tokio Hotel without you. She can come with us to the concerts and interviews and photo shoots. I'm sure that people will want to see her. She is going to be famous. We can get someone to watch her while we play. And it is only for an hour and a half. I need you there with me."

This is true. I wouldn't dream of going on tour without Leanah. It wouldn't feel right. That whole time we were in the U.S. touring with Eva when we were eighteen I felt like a part of me was missing. I never want to feel like that again.

"Well I suppose we could have someone watch her while we play," Leanah says. She sounds reluctant. She bites her lip again. Now what?

"There is something else in your mind isn't there?" I ask. She nods. I look at her expectantly.

"Bill we need to buy a house. We can't live in your mother's house forever. And I don't want my child growing up in hotels. It isn't fair to her that she already won't have a normal life. She is famous just because we are. It isn't fair to her." Leanah is right.

"I agree. She should be able to grow up in one home, not hundreds of different ones. She should learn to walk in our living room, not the lobby of some hotel. And she should live away from all the press and photographers." Leanah smiles.

"I was thinking that we should live halfway between your parents and my aunt and uncle. That way we can visit them when we aren't touring, and we will be close enough to the recording studio that we can drop Natasha off at her Grandma's or aunt's house." I nod.

"That sounds like a good idea." What will Tom say when I tell him that I am buying a house? He was already so surprised when I proposed to Leanah. I had once told him that I never wanted to marry. Leanah changed my mind.

"I'm going to bed. Good night Bill."

"Night Leanah." I give Leanah a kiss and she walks down the hall to our bedroom. I walk back over to the crib and watch Natasha. She smiles in her sleep. At least her dreams are pleasant. She is probably dreaming of her mother. That would make me smile too. I pull the blanket closer to her and kiss her forehead. She reaches in the air and I hold my breath. She lowers her arm and I smile.

I turn off the light and walk into my bedroom. I slip under the covers and snuggle close to Leanah. She is already asleep. I watch her for a while before drifting off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Two Years Later

"Bill. Stop. It has to be this way. I'm sorry." And I truly am. But I can't go on like this. Not after what I've done. The truth would just hurt Bill even more. I am breaking his heart. And I hope he can forgive me.

"No. We can fix this. We always do. I need you. The band needs you. Don't leave me. Please." He is actually on his knees begging. I see the hurt in his eyes, but no matter what I do he will always hurt.

"The band doesn't need me. You were Tokio Hotel without me once, and you can do it again. I truly am sorry Bill. But it's over. I've already filed for divorce. I have to go pick up Natasha from day care. Good-bye Bill. Please forgive me." And I turn and walk out the door. I get in my car and drive off, looking back in the rearview mirror. He is standing in the doorway, looking lost and forlorn. He has tracks of eyeliner running down his face. I look away.

The worst is done. I've told Bill. Now all I have to do is tell the others, and hope that they will still be my friends.

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"I don't understand," Tom says. I shake my head.

"What's not to understand Tom?" I ask. Georg and Gustav both took the news of my resignation from the band and my divorce with Bill rather well. Sure they both were upset, but I believe that I can stay friends with them. Plus Natasha will miss her Uncle Gus and Uncle Georg.

"Why are you divorcing Bill?"

"I don't love him anymore." Tom shakes his head.

"It was true love. You two were made for each other."

"I guess true love isn't always for forever. I'm sorry Tom. Please forgive me for hurting your brother. No matter what I do he will hurt. If I stay, if I go. And I can't stay. This is how it has to be. I'm sorry." I wonder how many more times I will have to say this. I wave goodbye and get in my car. I drive away, this time not looking back, because I cannot bear to see the disappointment etched on Tom's face.


	5. Chapter 5

5

"Bill. Get up. You can't sit there forever. Please. Get off your lazy ass." I can hear Tom, but his words mean nothing to me. Each day for the past week I have done the same thing. Wake up, sit in a chair in front of the window, and go to bed. I realized after two days that it was pointless for me to wait. Leanah is not coming back. And still I sit and watch. Waiting.

"Yeah Bill. Please get up. Listen to Tom," Gustav says. I shake my head. I can feel the burn behind my eyes, but no tears escape me. I only cried that one day as I watched her drive away. Since then I have been moving in a numbness.

"Bill. This is getting ridiculous. You haven't done anything for a week. You've been getting scary thin and need to eat. We need you at the studio. I know you can still sing, even if you aren't talking. Please Bill. I still need you." I look at Tom. Then I stand up and hug him.

"I'm sorry," I whisper in his ear. "I just needed some time to be alone. I promise I will start eating and coming to the studio."

"It's okay. We are all worried about you. Do you want to stay with me until you settle things?" Tom asks. I nod.

"Wait. What do you mean settle things?" Tom bends down to tie his shoe and turns to Gustav, who fakes a coughing fit and shoves Georg. Georg, seeing no opening to pass to someone else, sighs.

"You've got your meeting with the judge tomorrow to confirm the divorce. And you also have the whole custody thing to see who gets Natasha. I'm sorry Bill."

I collapse. My face is in my hands, and my shoulders rake with sobs. The pain keeps coming, keeps my tears flowing. I feel a hand rubbing circles on my back. Tom stops and puts his arm underneath my elbow. Then he pulls me up.

"Sit down Bill. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. Okay?" Tom asks.

"Okay," I whisper, sitting down on the sofa. How could I forget the meeting with the judge? And the custody battle? Who will get to keep Natasha? The pain is building and I can't ignore it. I rock back and forth on the couch. Gustav and Georg are staring out the windows, leaving me be so that they don't have to see a grown man cry. Only Tom watches me. When did he come back?

"Bill. Let's go. You need to get out of this house. Come on." I stand up and allow Tom to lead me out the door. I get in the front seat of his car. Georg and Gustav sit in the back.

"Do you want to see a movie?" Tom asks.

"Sure," I say. Tom mentions a comedy that was just released and I agree to see it. I guess he wants to keep my mind off the pain. Good luck with that Tom. Even you can't heal the hole in my heart.


	6. Chapter 6

6

"Natasha. Please sit still so Mommy can put on your dress." Natasha finally stops squirming long enough for me to put on her dress. As soon as it is over her head she takes off again. I sigh.

"I'll go get her," Aunt Marie says.

"Thank you," I say. I still need to get ready to meet the judge and I have yet to do my makeup or change. I quickly pull on a pair of black dress pants and a purple blouse. Then I step into my heels and walk to my bathroom. I quickly put on some makeup and brush my teeth.

Aunt Marie has Natasha sitting on the floor playing with a doll when I walk back into my bedroom. I grab her shoes and quickly put them on her feet before she can run off again.

"Thanks so much for letting us stay here this past week Aunt Marie. It really means a lot to me."

"You are very welcome Leanah. It was wonderful to see you again. Well you should be going. Good Luck!" I smile.

"Thank you," I say. I pick Natasha up off the floor and carry out the door. I strap her in her car seat and we drive off.

"Where are we going Mommy?" she asks me.

"We are going to see Daddy," I say. She squeals excitedly, but I am anything but excited to see Bill today. The dread is covering me like a blanket.

We walk into the courtroom hand in hand. The judge smiles at Natasha and says hi. She smiles back and says hello. I sit down and look around. That is when I notice Bill. He is standing near the wall, talking to Tom.

"Mommy?" I look to Natasha.

"Yeah sweetie?"

"Can I go play with Uncle Tom and Daddy?" I smile.

"Sure. Go on." She runs off.

"Daddy!" she shrieks and Bill turns. He sees her running toward him and holds out his arms. She runs into them and Bill swings her into the air, spinning in circles. She laughs. I look at Tom and he shakes his head at me. I feel tears form in my eyes and blink them away. I can do this, can't I?


	7. Chapter 7

7

I set Natasha down and give her a kiss on the forehead. She stumbles a bit.

"I'm dizzy," she says, before walking into Tom's legs. He laughs and picks her up. She smiles and gives him a kiss on the cheek. He sets her down and she falls onto his feet. I laugh.

"I think you spun her around just a little too long," Tom laughs. I shrug.

"She liked it though," I say.

"Yeah. Again! Again!" she squeals. I pick her up and am just about to spin her again when the judge speaks.

"Let's get this started, shall we?" He glares at me.

"Sorry," I say. I set Natasha down and she clings to my legs. I stroke her wavy brown hair. She smiles up at me. I take her hand and Tom takes the other. We walk together down to the front and sit down.

"First off, let me say how important it is that you two have agreed to do this. Are you in an understanding with each other?"

"Yes," Leanah says. The judge looks at me.

"Mr. Kaulitz?"

"Y-Yes," I say, even though it pains me. But I would rather see Leanah happy and doing this will make her happy.

"We also have to discuss the custody of your child. Have you thought of who she will live with?" I nod.

"She will live with Leanah for most of the year, due to the amount of touring that Tokio Hotel does. When we are not on tour, however, she will live with me. We also agreed that we should spend holidays together."

"That all seems to be in order. Now if you would both sign these I can officially declare your marriage as void." Leanah stands up and takes the pen from the judge. She signs the paper and sits back down. I get up and sign them as well. I want to cry, but that would be wrong. I can shed no more tears for myself. I sit back down.

"You are officially divorced. Dismissed." The judge leaves. I stand up. Tom is playing with Natasha on the floor. Leanah walks over.

"Hello Bill."

"Hello." She looks tired. Black circles are framing underneath her eyes. I probably look twice as bad. Although the black around my eyes is due to the amount of eye make up I put on.

"Natasha, sweetie, it's time to go." Natasha looks up.

"But I want to stay and play with Uncle Tom."

"We have to go. Come on." Leanah picks her up off the ground.

"NO! I want to stay with Daddy and Uncle Tom. No!" Natasha starts crying.

"Hey. Shh… Stop crying. We'll see you soon. And Uncle Gustav and Uncle Georg will be there next time. Okay? Do you want to play with Uncle Gus and Georg?" She nods.

"How about you come over tomorrow and we can all go to the park."

"Okay!" she says excitedly. Leanah sets her down and she runs into my outstretched arms. I hug her.

"Be a good girl for Mommy. Okay?"

"Okay," she says. I give her a kiss. Then I stand up and look at Leanah.

"I'll drop her off at ten," she says.

"Sounds good," I say.

"Bye Bill." And she grabs Natasha's hand and walks off. I pretend that it doesn't hurt to see her walk away and not look back.


	8. Chapter 8

8

ELEVEN YEARS LATER.

Ages

Natasha- 13

Bill- 36

Leanah- 34

Tom- 36

Eva- 34

Gustav-37

Georg-38

NATASHA'S P.O.V.

Do you ever wonder why things happen or are? Like why is the grass green? Or why do people fight over stupid things like whose turn it is to do the dishes? My favorite question to ask though is why do people stop loving each other? And how can you walk away knowing that you left someone hurting behind you? It is like walking away from a man having a heart attack. How could you stand to walk away and not help?

Okay. Are you ready for the answers? Grass is green because it absorbs all colors except for green, which it reflects. So the grass is green. People fight over stupid things because people can't stand to be wrong. People stop loving each other because something inside them breaks. I can't answer the last question. It is still a mystery to me. But somehow my mom did it. And I don't know if I can forgive her for leaving Dad.

I get off the bus and feel something hit my back. I turn around and see tons of crumpled pieces of paper. I bend down and pick one up. Then I straighten it out and read.

_Dear Bill, I love you. _

_Natasha, can I have your dad's autograph?_

_TOM!_

_Tasha, get me Gustav's autograph._ _And Georg's._

Each one says something along those lines. Every day since school started I have been pelted with various requests for my father's or uncle's autographs. I walk inside the house and hurl the papers into the trash.

The only reason people like me is because I am the daughter of Bill Kaulitz. And because I know the rest of the band. It sucks. I have no real friends. Or at least no real friends my age. The guys of Tokio Hotel are my best friends. Even my dad.

Mom is in the kitchen making dinner. It is funny because when I stay with Dad I am the one that cooks. He is the worst cook ever. We decided two summers ago that we would get fat if we kept going out to eat everyday. So now I cook.

"Hi honey. How was your day?" I set my backpack on the floor in the corner before answering.

"It was fine. I passed my math test." Mom has been stressing that I will fail math. I am horrible at it. I just don't get it. Dad was going to hire a tutor, but mom wouldn't allow it. So now I am just barely passing algebra. Figures.

"That's great honey. I told you you could do it. You don't need some stupid tutor to help you pass," she says angrily.

"I guess not, but having that stupid tutor would have made me pass with a seventy instead of a 65." Mom glares at me. I shrug my shoulders and pick up my backpack. Then I head upstairs to my bedroom.

"Dinner is going to be ready in an hour. Try and get your homework done."

"Okay," I say back, knowing that when I go upstairs I am going to sit there on the phone with Dad the whole time. He is touring in Europe, but today is his last show before he comes home. I can't wait.

I open my bedroom door and see that Mom cleaned it. There is a pile of clothes on my desk. I ignore them and grab my phone. I have my own phone line in my room. There is one message. I press play.

"Hey Natasha. It's Dad. I just called to say that I am going to be home a day early. We had to cancel our last concert because Gustav ate some bad fish and now he is sick. Well the plane is about to leave so I have to go. See you tomorrow. Love you. Bye."

I dial Dad's cell number. The message was left an hour ago, so he should be able to use his phone now. He picks up on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Dad?"

"Natasha! Hey. This is Georg. How's it going?"

"Good. Where's Dad?"

"He is sleeping. Do you want me to wake him up?"

"No. Let him sleep. How is Gustav? I heard he has food poisoning." Georg laughs.

"Yeah. He is actually in the bathroom as we speak."

"Ew. Thanks for that," I say sarcastically.

"Okay. Well I have to go. No wait. Tom wants to talk to you." I hear the sounds of the phone being ripped from Georg's grasp. I laugh.

"Natasha! What's up?" Uncle Tom asks.

"Nothing. I passed my math test."

"That's great! What did you get?"

"A 65."

"Awesome. What is failing?"

"A 64 and lower."

"Oh. Well I guess that's not awesome then."

"Not so much. How is Aunt Eva?" Tom and Eva married when I was three. It was like one marriage was ending while another was beginning. I just wish that maybe Mom and Dad could have patched things up there, but no such luck.

"She's great. She won an award for Best Pop Video in Europe. You should have seen her. She started crying."

"Let me guess. You were laughing at her?"

"How could you think that I would be so insensitive? I walked away first so that she couldn't see me." I hear a smack.

"I heard that, you jerk."

"No need to hit so hard." I laugh.

"Are you crying Uncle Tom?" I ask jokingly.

"No. I've got to go. See you tomorrow?"

"Yep. I am coming over after dinner. Bye." I hang up. I am so excited. Dad has been on tour for a year and I really miss him.

I decide that I might as well start my homework. I still have a half hour before dinner. Plus if I don't get it done tonight Mom might not let me go to Dad's tomorrow. I skip over math and get right to English. I took English as a second language because I knew it would be an easy A. I am fluent in both English and German, seeing as my mom prefers to speak English and Dad prefers German. I begin translating words.

Finally Mom calls me downstairs. I stuff the paper into my folder and run down the stairs. Mom is sitting in the dining room. I walk in and take my seat.

"Did you finish your homework?" she asks as we begin putting food on our plates. She piles broccoli onto mine.

"Disgusting. And I finished my English homework."

"Why did you take English anyway?"

"Cause it helps my overall average. I have over a hundred in that class." I begin eating, avoiding the broccoli at all costs. I will eat almost every other vegetable, but broccoli is one I can't stand. Dad and me are at an agreement that broccoli will never enter his house. We both hate it.

"Eat your broccoli."

"Why?"

"Because it is good for you." I shudder.

"If it tastes so bad then how can it be good for me? I get sick just thinking about it." Mom rolls her eyes and stares at me expectantly. I spear a piece and force it down. I try not to gag. Mom smiles.

"So Mom. Guess what. Gustav got food poisoning so Dad is getting home tomorrow."

"Poor Gustav." I pick up on the fact that she skipped over the news of Dad coming home. Of course.

"I can go over and see him tomorrow, right?"

"I have to think about this." I feel my jaw drop in shock. What!?

"What is there to think about? I haven't seen him in a year."

"I'm just to busy to drop you off there."

"I'll walk."

"No you will not. You can't go. End of story."

"You aren't going to tell me when I can and can't see my father."

"I just did." I feel tears pouring down my face.

"I hate you." And I run off, but not before throwing my chair into the wall.

When I get to my room I lock the door. Then I grab my backpack and put on my sneakers. I open my window and push the screen out. It falls with a dull thud into the grass below. I grab the windowsill and drop down after it.

I make a louder thud, but luckily I landed on my feet and not my face. I hide the screen in the bushes and run off towards the street. I have to pass by the dining room. I peek in the window and see Mom massaging her temples. I duck down and run off without a sound.


	9. Chapter 9

9

I run until I reach the house. It is huge, considering that it is just Dad and I most days. There are tennis courts and one of those huge wooden playgrounds in the backyard. Dad insisted on having it built so that I had a place to play when I lived with him. Now I go there when I am lonely. Or upset. I always lay down on the bridge. It is my spot where Dad can always find me.

The pool is the kind that has a hot tub connected to it and a waterfall with a cave right underneath it. I love it. We used to play hide and seek and I always chose to hide under there. It has been a year since I have even seen these things. The lawn is mowed to perfection, so the gardener was obviously just here.

I drop my bag on the ground next to the pool and climb onto the bridge. It moves beneath me. I used to pretend I was a pirate sailing on the ocean. The bridge just moved that way and made me think of a boat.

Now I lie down and fold my arms behind my head. I stare up at the stars. They are shining brightly. The moon is hiding behind clouds, with just the top of it peeking out. It hurts to look at it. I close my eyes and hold in my tears. They still manage to sneak out though. I keep my eyes closed until I feel a finger brush them away.

I open my eyes and sit up. Dad is staring at me and I begin to sob. He pulls me into his arms and I hug him back. He lets me sob into his shoulder for a while before finally pulling back.

"Let's get inside. I don't want to be eaten alive by bugs." I laugh and he takes my hand and pulls me up. We walk inside, him stooping down to grab my backpack.

We walk into the kitchen, where Dad drops my bag in a chair. I sit down at the island. Everything is gleaming.

"Did you have a maid come here while you were gone?"

"Yep. You hungry?" I shake my head and roll my eyes at him.

"What?"

"You are home five minutes and already you're hungry?"

"Planes do that to you." I smile and watch as he makes himself a sandwich. Then he grabs a coke and sits down next to me. I watch him take a bite of his sandwich. He chews slowly and then swallows.

"So. You want to tell me why you are here and crying?"

"I'm here because I wanted to see you." He smiles. Then he stares at me, expecting an answer to the first question.

"Don't ask me why I am crying. I don't even know. Sometimes it just feels good to cry," I say. So that is a lie. I am actually crying because Mom wouldn't let me come here, but I am **not **telling him that. It would break his heart. But luckily this seems to satisfy him, although he probably knows I am lying.

"So your mom called me. She is really worried about you. I told her I would call if I heard from you, but I think you need to be the one who calls." I make a face and Dad laughs.

"Fine. I'll call. But when I die it is your fault." He laughs and nudges me out of my chair. I grab the phone and dial my second home.

"Hello?" Mom says frantically.

"Mom."

"Natasha Simone Kaulitz. Do you have any idea how worried I've been? Where in the hell are you?" she yells.

"Mom. Calm down. I'm fine. I'm at Dad's house."

"Give the phone to your father."

"But…"

"Do it." I press the speaker button before handing the phone to Dad. He looks at it as if it is a bomb. Finally he decides to speak.

"Leanah?"

"Bill. I demand you bring Natasha home at once," she says angrily. Dad cringes.

"Leanah. Calm down. She is fine here. Just let her spend the night. I'll drive her to school in the morning and she can get off the bus at your house. Then once the week is over she can come back to live with me. Alright?" I don't know how he does it. I can see my mom cooling down. When she answers her voice is calm.

"Alright. And Natasha, sweetie? I love you. And you are in so much trouble when you get home." She hangs up and I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding in.

"Well considering the circumstances, I'd say that went pretty well." I raise my eyebrows at Dad.

"What?" he says, confused. I just shake my head and smile.

"I'm going to go to bed. It's been a long night. What time is it?" Dad looks at the clock.

"A little after midnight."

"When did you get home?"

"Eleven. You should sleep. You've got school tomorrow and an angry mom to look forward to. Good night." I give Dad a hug and kiss before walking upstairs and into my bedroom. Then I lie down on the bed and fall asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

10

I wake up at six the next morning. School doesn't start until nine. I get out of bed and walk into my bathroom. I take a shower and shave. When I step out of the shower I wrap a purple towel around my body.

I walk into my room and pull on a pair of light wash bootcut jeans. I slip on my Converse and a black t-shirt. I grab my brush and brush my hair, untangling all the knots. That is the bad thing about my hair. It gets knotted so easily. It is way too long.

I walk downstairs and into the kitchen. The clock says that it is seven thirty. Ugh. I grab a bowl and pour some Corn flakes into it. I eat quickly, rinsing my bowl out in the sink when I am done. I decide that I had better wake up Dad.

He is lying on his bed face down. His hair is knotted. I laugh out loud, he looks so funny. I poke him in the side.

"Dad. Time to get up."

"No," he mumbles. I roll my eyes and hop onto the bed. Then I start jumping. It always works.

"Dad. Get up. Come on. You are going to be late for your concert." He jerks upright. Then he glares at me. I am laughing hysterically.

"That was not funny."

"I thought it was." He makes a face and points to the door. I walk out into the hallway and wait for him. There are six bedrooms total. One for me, Dad, Tom and Eva, Gustav, Georg, and just an extra. Just in case the guys are out late and don't want to drive home.

Finally Dad walks out of his room. He is holding his black hair down with a cap. He has on jeans and a band T-shirt with a pair of black sneakers.

"So. I am thinking about cutting my hair," I say.

"Why? I like your hair."

"I just want to do something new. And I already know that I can pull off all the things that you've done with your hair, seeing as we look the same. Not to mention dreadlocks."

"What were you thinking about doing?"

"Maybe a bob. With side bangs. I don't know. Something edgy." Dad shakes his head.

"Not a bob. Anything but a bob."

"You're right. Bob's are ugly. Maybe something like Rihanna's new hair. How it is short with side bangs."

"I still think you should keep your hair the way it is. Maybe get bangs that go across your forehead, but make them kind of choppy and not one solid bang. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah. Kind of like Miley Cyrus' bangs on the cover of Seventeen Magazine. Don't like her, but like her hair. I'll do it." Dad smiles. I would do anything Dad told me to.

"Cool. Now let's get you to school. I don't want you to be late. Your mother would be even more mad at me."

The day finally ends. All I heard all day was that Tokio Hotel was back in town. I expect I am to be pelted with questions when I get on the bus. I avoided people all day, but I can't avoid them on the ride home. Great.

I get on the bus and take the seat in the back. I sit next to the window and stare out of it absently until the bus rolls forward. I look and see a girl sitting next to me. Raena is probably the bitchiest, most Tokio Hotel obsessed girl in the school. And of course she would know all about Dad being home and that I am the closest she will get to him. It is simple really. Befriend Bill Kaulitz's daughter, meet Bill Kaulitz. And possibly the entire band. Not to mention Eva Kaulitz as well.

"Hello," I say rudely. She ignores this.

"Hi! So I hear your dad is back in town. Right?"

"Yeah."

"That's cool. I bet you're happy."  
"Yep."

"So when are you living with him?" Of course my mother and fathers divorce is famous so everyone knows that I alternate homes.

"This weekend."

"Cool. Maybe we could do something. Go swimming or whatever at your house."

"Sorry. Can't."

"Oh come on. You've had him your whole life. You can share with one person." Too bad it isn't that simple.

"I can't. I already have to share him with the world." The bus stops at my house and I get off before she can make any more attempts to meet Dad. This time no notes hit my back. I walk inside, prepared for the worst.


	11. Chapter 11

11

I close the door quietly behind me. My hand is up against the wood to absorb the inevitable click of when it shuts. I quickly take off my shoes and toss them into the coat closet.

I can't hear any noise coming from any of the rooms downstairs. Instead of making me happy, however, it makes me uneasy. Where is she?

I run up the stairs and into my room. I close the door and turn around. Then I freeze.

Mom is sitting on my bed, legs crossed and hands folded in her lap. She is staring at me expectantly. I drop my bag on the ground, but make no move. I have no intention of crossing the room.

"Hi Mom."

"Hi? All I get is a hi? How about a 'Hi mom. Sorry I ran away to my father's house when I knew he wouldn't be there. Or Sorry I didn't stay home long enough to calm down and talk about things.'" I can see that this won't be easy.

"Sorry I ran away." She holds the bridge of her nose and shakes her head.

"It's a little to late for sorry Natasha."

"Well what do you want me to say? That it is fine if I don't get to see my dad. Because it's not. He's been gone for most of my life. Just because you don't like him doesn't mean that I don't either. I miss him."

"I don't hate your father. How could you say that?"

"Well you don't love him either. It's the way you act and talk when you are around him. It's how you didn't want to drive the whole fifteen minutes to his house so I could see him. You say you don't hate him, but the way you act says otherwise." And I turn and walk out the door, leaving Mom stunned behind me.

In the kitchen I pour myself a huge glass of milk and down it in one minute. I wash my cup and put it away. Mom walks into the kitchen, all traces of anger gone from her eyes.

"I'm sorry. It was my fault you ran away. I shouldn't have said those things." And that is all I need to run over and hug her. It feels like forever before I finally pull back.

"Stay here. I'll be back in a moment." Mom walks off. Five minutes later she returns.

"We are going out to dinner with Bill. Go change." I grin and sprint up the stairs.

Dad arrives at the restaurant at the same time Mom pulls into the parking lot. I wave through the window and he waves back. Mom parks and he pulls in next to us. We get out and I give Dad a hug.

"Hey!" Dad says happily. "Hello Leanah."

"Hi Bill," Mom replies in a slightly less cold voice that she normally uses around him.

We walk into the restaurant. The host immediately recognizes us and is fluttered the whole time he shows us to our table. He drops his pen numerous times as he takes our drink orders. Finally he scurries away, blushing furiously. Dad and I immediately bust out laughing, while Mom shakes her head at us.

"Couldn't you two act civilized for one second. The poor man." I roll my eyes.

"Come on Mom. You know it was funny."

"No it wasn't."

"Yes. It was," Dad says.

"Well. I guess you are right." And now we are all laughing. I hardly notice people shooting us death glares and moving to tables farther away from us.

A click and a bright light is all it takes to bring us back to reality. Mom is holding onto Dad's arm. I know it is because she tends to grab onto whoever is nearest when she is laughing, but the paparazzi don't. They'll make it look like Mom and Dad are together again.

Mom quickly lets go and stands up. The she storms outside, into her car, and drives away. Oh no.

"Yes! I got it!" The photographer is smiling like he just won the lottery. Dad stands up, towering over him. But let's face it. A man wearing eyeliner is not very intimidating.

"I'll pay you triple what you are making if you destroy that photo."

"I don't think so. This photo is worth more than you can imagine."

"Try me," Dad says. The photographer just shrugs and runs out. Dad follows, but comes back a minute later, anger and sadness etched on his face.

"Night's over. Let's go home." He tosses some money on the table and we walk out of the restaurant.


	12. Chapter 12

12

Tom's P.O.V.

"Leanah, calm down." Leanah just glares at me.

"How can I calm down? Bill obviously hired that photographer to take that picture." I shake my head.

"He would never do that."

"How do you know?" That simple question stings me.

"You think I don't know my own brother, my own _twin_?" I ask angrily.

"I'm sorry. It's just, I'm so mad. How could I put my guard down?" This question confuses me.

"Why would you even have your guard up?" Leanah begins to fidget in her seat. I see movement outside the living room door. The shadow on the ground tells me that it is Natasha.

"I don't know. To keep from getting hurt."

"Who's going to hurt you?"

"Bill." Leanah pauses. "Myself." I honestly do not understand. My eyebrows knit together and Leanah can tell that I am confused.

"Tom?"

"Yeah?"

"I still love him." Okay. This is going to take a minute to absorb.

"Then why did you divorce him?"

"Tom I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"I cheated on him."

Holy hell. I don't understand. What did Bill do to deserve this? And worse, he doesn't even know. I put my face in my hands and sit like this for a few minutes. When I look up Leanah is crying.

"Why?" I ask, barely getting the word out.

"He wasn't there and I was lonely. And then the other man said that he would tell Bill about my relationship with him if I didn't divorce him. And I never wanted to hurt Bill that way. I really didn't, but I had too. When we divorced the other man left me. He was using me to ruin Bill's life. And it worked. And I regret everything that I did. If I could go back I would erase that man from my life forever."

We sit in silence for a few minutes. Finally I speak.

"I need to go." I stand up. Leanah jumps up as well.

"Tom. I'm sorry." She grabs my arm to stop her, but I shake her off. I quickly leave the house and get in my Cadillac Escalade. Then I pull out of the driveway and speed down the road.

"So are you going to tell Dad?" I slam on the brakes.

"Hell Natasha! How did you get in here? When did you get in here?" My heart is pounding.

"Did I scare you?"

"No shit Sherlock." She stares at me with hurt in her eyes. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"It's okay?"

"Good. Now answer my question."

"The door was unlocked."

"What did you hear?"

"I left when Mom said that she cheated on Dad." Natasha squeezes her eyes shut, but tears still manage to escape.

"Hey, hey. Don't cry. We can fix this."

"How?" she asks.

"I don't know." Do I want to tell Bill? Of course I do. Should I is the real question. I put my face in my hands and breathe deeply. The air helps to clear my thoughts.

"Are you going to tell him?" Natasha asks again.

"No. Not yet. When we go on vacation I'll tell him. We need him at his best when we leave for our tour in two days."

"WHAT!? You're leaving already?"

"I thought Bill already told you." I can't see why he wouldn't.

"No. HE didn't." I start the car and turn around.

"Where are we going?" Natasha asks me.

"I'm taking you home."

"Can I come with you?"

"Duh. You're already in the car," I say.

"No. I mean on tour. Can I come with you on tour?"

"Ask your mom," I say as we pull into the driveway. Natasha glares at me and I shrug my shoulders.

"Bye."

"I'm calling you later so you can convince her to let me go with you." Natasha slams the door shut and runs into the house. I wonder if it hurts Leanah to look at her own daughter. Because when I look at her, all I can see is Bill.


	13. Chapter 13

13

NATASHA'S P.O.V.

I tell Mom that I need to talk to her. She follows me into the living room. I sit where Uncle Tom sat, just an hour earlier, when he heard the news that Mom cheated. Just the thought causes me to shiver a little.

"So. What did you want to talk about?" Mom asks.

"I want to go with Dad while he tours."

"Absolutely not."

I knew it. I just knew she would say no. Now I have to figure out how to convince her. Maybe I can make her feel guilty by telling her that I heard her. Or blackmail by saying that I'll tell Dad that she cheated on him. No. I can't do that. It's too low.

"Please Mom. You don't understand."

"Then help me understand. Why would you even want to go on tour anyway? You are way too young."

"I wasn't too young when I was a baby," I say hotly.

"I had no choice. I couldn't just not bring you."

I shrug my shoulders. "So? I was still there. And I barely get to spend time with Dad and Uncle Tom. I see Gustav and Georg even less."

"I don't know. I have to think about this. How long is the tour?"

"I don't know. You'd have to talk to Dad or one of the guys for details. Please Mom. This is something I really want to do."

"What about school?"

"I could get my homework mailed to me."

"How will your teachers know where you are?" Mom asks.

"Good point. I could do online stuff, like Dad and Uncle Tom did for their last years of high school."

"Well I suppose it could work. But that's not a yes," Mom says, seeing my smile. "I still have to think about this. I'll call your father to get some details and see if he will mind having you along."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I say, running across the room and hugging her. I then run out the door, Mom calling after me.

"I STILL HAVEN'T SAID YES YET!" I ignore her. It is bound to work out. That was surprisingly easier than I thought.

In my room, I grab the phone. I dial Dad's number, to warn him of what is to come. And to ask if I can come with him.

"Hello?"

"Hi Dad," I say excitedly.

"What's up?" he asks.

"I was just talking to Mom and I am asking you how you would feel about me coming on tour with you."

"That would be awesome. I would love it to spend more time with you." I grin and forget that he can't see through the phone.

"Yes! Oh, and Mom is going to be calling you for details. Or one of the other guys." At this point I am bouncing up and down. If Dad is okay with it, then there is no way that Mom could say no.

"Okay, well I have to go. Gustav is over and he wants input on this new drum piece he thought up. Love you."

"Love you too."

"Bye Natasha," Dad says. Then he hangs up. I put the phone down and lay on my bed. As soon as I hit the mattress I realize just how tired I am. I fall asleep almost instantly.

When I wake up it is still dark outside. I look at my clack. 9:41. I get up and walk downstairs. Mom is sitting on the couch, watching some random television show. I sit down next to her.

"What're you watching?" I ask.

"Dancing with the Stars. It is actually pretty cool."

"The dresses are really…um… kinda non-existent," I say. The girl on the screen is wearing a dress that just barely covers her body. And her boobs are practically hanging out.

"Yeah. So I talked to Bill."

"Yeah?"

"Well, you would be gone for about three months, but we decided to get a tutor to go with you guys."

"So I'm going?"

"Yes. You are leaving me for three months. It will be lonely without you."

"Thank you so much Mom. This means so much to me." I hug her. Then I stand up. "I'm gonna go start packing." I walk away and am about halfway across the living room when she calls my name.

"Yeah?" I say.

"I love you. You know I would never do anything to hurt you, right?"

I nod and quickly walk away, before I burst out saying that it is too late. She already hurt me when she divorced Dad.


	14. Chapter 14

14

I stare longingly at the ground as the plane rises into the air. This is my first time on a plane. I am terrified that something will go wrong, like the plane running out of gas and all of us crashing to the ground. I am also horrified of boats. Boats on the ocean at least. You could hit something and then drown or fall into the water and be eaten by sharks. Sorry. Lets get away from such morbid thoughts.

The plane climbs steadily higher. I shut my eyes tight to keep from looking out the window. How did I get stuck with a window seat anyway? I feel a tap on my arm and open my eyes. Dad is staring at me with concerned eyes.

"Are you okay Natasha?"

I shake my head. "No. Can we switch spots? I don't like being by the window."

"Of course." Dad stands up and lets me move. Then he sits down next to the window. I take a deep breath.

"Better?"

"A little. I'll be better when my feet are safe on solid ground."

Dad smiles and rotates to face behind us, so that he can talk to Uncle Tom. I pull out my iPod and turn it on. I click on shuffle songs and press play. The first song to come on is "Rette Mich." It's funny, cause that is what I want right now. Someone to rescue me and get me off this plane. Finally I turn off my iPod, because it is doing nothing to sooth my nerves. I begin to fidget when strong hands grab my shoulders.

"Try to sleep. That way the trip will be done when you wake up. We only have a few more hours," Gustav says.

"Okay. I'll try." He hands me a pillow and I place it behind me. But then it is suddenly ripped from behind my head. Dad places it against his shoulder and I lean into it. Then I fall asleep almost instantly, comforted by the fact that I know Dad will always be there for me.

"We are now landing in Prague. Please remain seated, with your seatbelts on, until the plane comes to a full and complete stop. Thank you." The automated voice wakes me from my sleep. Surprisingly, I slept through the whole flight. I shift in my seat and look around.

Gustav is talking to Georg in rapid German. His voice is so low that I can't even hear him. It is exciting that I will finally be able to practice my German on this trip. I always talk in German around these guys.

Uncle Tom is looking out the window. He grins when he sees me watching him, but I can tell that he is worried. I smile back and face forward in my seat. Dad pokes me in the shoulder to get my attention. I watch his manicured hands fold in his lap.

"You slept through the whole flight."

"I know."

"Are you excited to tour with us?" he asks me.

"Yeah!" I say with a little too much enthusiasm. Part of the reason that I wanted to come was so that I could get away from Mom for a while. I love her, but right now I don't think I can handle any more stress.

"Good. We actually have to do a sound check tonight. Ugh! It sucks."

"I know. We just spent forever on this plane and now we have to play," Uncle Tom says. He falls back in his seat as the wheels hit the ground. Dad and I burst into laughter.

"That's why you are supposed to wear your seatbelt," I say through giggles. He shoots me a glare before crossing his arms grumpily. I hear him cursing under his breath. Apparently, Dad can too, because he reaches back and hits Uncle Tom on the shoulder.

"What?" Uncle Tom asks angrily.

"Watch your mouth. I don't want Natasha thinking she can swear all the time."

"It's a little too late for that," I say. Dad stares at me, shocked. "Kidding. Lighten up." Looking around, I see that there are only a few people left trickling off the plane. "I think we can get off the plane now."

So we stand up, grab our carry-on bags, and follow the line out of the airplane. The minute my feet touch the hard, linoleum floor of the terminal I let out a breath. It is finally over.

"I hate planes," I say. Dad laughs.

"I noticed. Which way to baggage claim?" he asks. The crew points to the left and we walk along until we see suitcases piling out on conveyor belts. I see my single bag and grab it, pulling it off the belt.

"Mine are those ten silver ones," Dad says.

"Ja. And my hats are in that big green one," Uncle Tom adds.

"I can't believe that you need to bring ten suitcases," I tell Dad. He grins and watches as the crew takes his bags off the conveyor belt.

"And I can't believe you only brought one bag. You know we are going to be on tour for three months, right?" And suddenly having only one bag seems ridiculous. I blush and look down at my lonely bag.

"Don't worry. We will take you shopping," Dad says, seeing my distressed face. I laugh and hug him.

"Thanks." He nods and then walks off to tell Georg something. I watch them laugh and turn back to he belt, where the rest of the luggage is being taken off. Uncle Tom comes to stand next to me.

"I don't want to tell him," he says. I look up and see that his eyes are welling up. I look away, because it is extremely hard for me to watch my uncle cry.

"I don't either." Tom takes my hand and squeezes it.

"We'll figure this out. I know we will." I pray to God that he is right, because all of this drama is screwing my life over.

"Ich muss durch den monsun, Hinter die welt, Ans ende der zeit, Bis kein regen mehr fällt, Gegen den sturm, Am abgrund entlang, Und wenn ich nicht mehr kann, denk'ich daran, Irgendwann laufen wir zusammen, Durch den monsun, dann wird alles gut."

The sound check went without a problem. The only problem now is that Dad won't stop singing. I mean, I love him and I love his music, but I am so tired and have a major migraine. I feel like my head is going to fall off. I think the other guys feel the same way, because Georg is glaring out the window, Gustav is holding his head, and Uncle Tom looks mutinous. It is he that cracks.

"_Will you shut the hell up?" _he yells. "Gott. I can barely hear myself think." The hurt shows in Dad's eyes as he stops and turns toward the window. I know that Uncle Tom didn't mean to be so rude. I think he is probably distressed over Mom's confession and how he will tell Dad. He realizes the hurt he just caused.

"Billa?" Uncle Tom says quietly.

"What?" Dad snaps. "I stopped singing."

"I know. I'm sorry. I was rude and I didn't mean to hurt you. I just have a lot on my mind." Dad turns toward his brother.

"Like what?" he asks.

"Leanah chea- wants to check in with Natasha. Can I have your phone to call her?" I let out the breath that I was holding. Uncle Tom came that close to telling Dad, and possibly ruining their tour.

Dad hands over his phone and Tom takes it. He dials Mom's number and hands me the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mom."

"Hi sweetie. How are things going?"

"Fine," I lie. "Just fine."


	15. Chapter 15

15

As soon as Dad goes off to sleep, Gustav and Georg corner Uncle Tom.

"What's going on?" Georg demands.

"Yeah. You've been acting strange lately," adds Gustav.

"Nothing. There is nothing going on. And I have been acting perfectly normal," Uncle Tom says. He does not sound very convincing, and it is obvious that Georg and Gus think the same.

"Tom. You can tell us. We aren't going to tell anyone," Gus says. Uncle Tom shoots me a glance. Georg notices.

"Natasha, why don't you go to bed?" he says.

"No. It's okay. She already knows," Uncle Tom defends me. Georg looks hurt that I know what is going on and he doesn't. But he quickly dives in and starts with the questioning again.

"So. What's going on?"

"Well, um, Leanah, she, um, well…"

"Spit it out already!"

"Leanah cheated on Bill."

"WHAT!?" Georg and Gustav yell simultaneously. Tom slaps Georg on the back (He is closer than Gustav) and I cover my own mouth.

"Uh…" We all freeze. Because it wasn't any of us that made that noise. Nope. Dad is standing in the doorway, looking like a deer in headlights.

"Bill. I thought you were asleep." Uncle Tom looks like he could kick himself. Dad glares at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks. I notice that he looks twenty years older. Pain and sadness is etched in his face, yet no tears escape him.

"I was going to," Uncle Tom begins, "but we-"

"We?"

"Natasha and I. We thought it best to tell you after the tour was over. Just so you wouldn't be distracted during our concerts and stuff. If you want, we can end it."

"No. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Uncle Tom asks.

"I said I was fine. Why can't you just believe me? It doesn't matter anyway. I need to be fine. For our fans." And Dad walks away into the bedroom. He slams the door a little harder that someone who is "fine" should.

Later that night I find that I cannot sleep. I toss and turn and focus on my breathing, but my mind just doesn't want to shut down. Finally I get up and walk into the kitchen. I pour myself a glass of water and gulp it down.

"Slow down," says a voice behind me. I whip around.

"I didn't see you there," I say.

"I'm good at blending in when I want to," Dad replies. We stand together for an awkward moment.

"Dad? Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."  
"Do you still love Mom?" I ask. He barely even hesitates.

"Yes. I believe that once you find your love, that love is forever. Leanah is my one. Without her I feel lost. I want her back." This news shocks me.

"How can you still love her, after what she did to you?" I demand angrily. Dad shakes his head, a whisper of a smile on his face.

"You forget that I have done things to her. I was never around, what with our touring. I would go out with the boys and leave her home alone to care for you. I was always busy writing songs or singing or going to interviews. It never occurred to me that she was lonely. If I could go back and change things, I would."

I feel tears rolling down my cheeks. Suddenly I am sobbing. I can't seem to stop. Dad folds me in his arms. When I look up I see that he has tears rolling down his face.

"Why did she cheat on me?" he asks, tears falling swiftly, making little streams down his face.

"She told Uncle Tom that she was lonely. And that you were never there. And that the other man threatened to tell you about them unless she filed for divorce. But as soon as you two were divorced, he left her. He just wanted to hurt you. And it worked. I'm sorry Dad. But I think we can fix this."

"How?"

"Easy. Mom still loves you too."


	16. Chapter 16

16

Today is the last concert. We are at the venue now. It is seven. They just opened the gates to the stadium, so I can hear the footfalls and screams (Mostly screams from girls) as they push their way to the front.

We are all backstage. Mom is chatting with Dad, something I find surprising. She never is so nice. Wait. She is _flirting _with Dad. Finally. It took her long enough.

They call Tokio Hotel on stage and me and Mom stand and watch by the sidelines. By the third song we are dancing together. We keep dancing until the music stops and Dad starts to talk.

"For our last song, I would like to invite someone from backstage to come up here. Leanah? Could you please come here?"

"Me?" Mom asks me.

"Yeah. Go," I say, nudging he in the back.

She walks on stage and waves to the fans. Dad holds out his hand for her. She takes it for a second and then drops it. But Dad is not disappointed. He holds the mic up to his lips.

"This song is dedicated to my one and only. This is for you Leanah." The beginning chords of "Heilig" start. Mom is crying.

"Ich halt mich wach - für dich

Wir schaffens nicht beide - Du weisst es nicht  
Ich geb mich jetzt für Dich auf  
Mein letzter Wille hilft Dir raus  
bevor das Meer unter mir - zerbricht  
Ich glaub an Dich

Du wirst für mich - immer heilig sein  
Ich sterb - für unsere Unsterblichkeit  
Meine Hand - von Anfang an  
über Dir - Ich glaub an Dich  
Du wirst für mich - immer heilig sein

Du brichst die Kälte - wenn Du sprichst  
Mit jedem Hauch von Dir - erlöst Du mich  
Wir sehen uns wieder - irgendwann  
Atme weiter - wenn Du kannst  
Auch wennn das Meer - unter Dir zerbricht  
Ich glaub an Dich

Du wirst für mich - immer heilig sein  
Ich sterb - für unsere Unsterblichkeit  
Meine Hand - von Anfang an  
über Dir - Ich glaub an Dich  
Du wirst für mich - immer heilig sein

Ich schau durchs Meer - und seh Dein Licht - über mir  
Ich sinke - Ich sinke - weg von Dir

Schau - mir nicht mehr - hinterher  
Glaub an Dich  
ich Glaub an Dich

Du wirst für mich - immer heilig sein  
Ich sterb - für unsere Unsterblichkeit  
Meine Hand - von Anfang an  
über Dir - Ich glaub an Dich  
Du wirst für mich - immer heilig sein"

As soon as the last note ends Mom runs off the stage. For the first time in his life, Dad turns his back on the crowd and runs after her. Tom, Gustav, and Georg are frozen where they stand. Mom stops in front of me. Dad shows up second later.

"Why did you do that to me Bill?" she asks, tears falling.

"Because I love you." He says it so simply. Mom lets out a loud sob. Now the others are here. Tom walks over and I hold his hand. He squeezes my own.

"Do you know?" she asks quietly.

"Yes. But I forgive you." This makes Mom sob even harder.

"Don't. I was stupid. I don't deserve you. You deserve better." She hangs here head.

"Yes, but unfortunately, I only want you."

Mom lifts her head. Then, so quickly, she is in his arms. He lets her sob into his shoulder for a minute. Then he kneels to the ground and grabs her hand. He pulls out a ring, the same one he had when he first proposed, and speaks.

"Leanah. I love you. And I trust you. Now and forever. Will you marry me?" Mom lets out a ragged breath.

"Yes. I will. And I promise that I will never hurt you again." Dad scoops Mom up into his arms and he kisses her. I don't realize that I am crying until Uncle Tom wipes a tear from my face. He is crying too.

Mom and Dad walk over to me. Each take a hand and we walk outside, finally together again. And I think that this time it will last. Hardships come, and hardships go, but it is how you resolve them that matters.


End file.
